Judy:August 7, 2014
Dear Sarah,
I hear you about getting disconnected from energy and creativity in work. I’m having a rough time staying connected to my study–I got a bit lost about what I wanted to do…and whether I can do it… The summer heat and continual rains here don’t help me stay focused, especially when I feel storms 3 days before it rains one drop. I’d rather hike some mountains and pick huckleberries— well, blackberries in my neck of the woods.

Sarah, I’m curious about your ‘fun-inquiry infusion from David’. With my nursing background, IVs easily come to mind when thinking about ‘infusing’ something into someone. But because of my background, I had little exposure to thinking of how I or others can give or receive ‘infusions’– of hope, bravery, calm, or…even fun! Though I think I intended and attempted to infuse hope and spiritual connection with terminally ill patients I cared for, I never put my doings into words. David’s bravery infusion article was my first introduction to such thinking/wording.

To do an IV as a nurse, I needed to first ‘gather’ together the IV machine or pole, the IV bag, an infusion set (needle and tubing), gauze, tape, and alcohol or betadine wipe. Would you mind telling me how you did a ‘fun-inquiry infusion from David’? What did you gather about you in your mind, whether words, feelings, or example inquiries, in those moments as you settled in with this family? Would you share your experience in as much detail as possible of your evoking David’s presence to be with you…and how you located ‘fun’ in David’s way of inquiring? I’m excited to hear your story of this!!

Have you ever done a similar kind of infusion from Michael? Would you mind telling me about this? I have a hundred questions, as I learn more about doing such infusions for myself…

Sarah Hughes

Sarah Hughes

Sarah: August 5, 2014
Hello Judy,
I am loving your questions. I have had an intense day of doing assessments and reports – not my idea of creative work as I have a very strict format I need to use for an insurance company. So I am happy to think about a fun session!!
I really look forward to you posting your writing – In whatever format. Please! Reading ideas are perfect energy infusions for me.

I love the image of you gathering supplies for an IV – hmmm what did I gather? Well, I was meeting this family for the first time and I was not give any info on who was coming or what they were looking for so I just knew i needed to assess the situation on the go. It was a mom, a dad, and two young women of university age. One young woman was studying peace studies and the other communications at uni so I knew I could draw on them to be helpful in figuring out how to get “Fighting all the time” under a bit more control.

I felt a bit overwhelmed at first as I thought that I had no idea what to do! But then I invoked Michael by taking a breath and thinking of him. He is my solid IV pole! He reminds me that I don’t need to know the answers, I just need to be curious about what knowledges they have. So I set up the tubing by using Externalizing to talk about “The fighting all the time” that they named and all agreed that they were sick of it.

I saw their faces lighten as we moved to more interesting questions about the fighting and then they responded well to some some jokes I made. As the mood lightened – everyone participated more and they had some great stories of when the “fighting all the time” was not there – so we had to rename it just “The fighting”

As I think about this, I remember me thinking – hey it worked – I lightened my approach and it was infectious. Then I thought, wow, what a great family, I love asking them questions as they have such interesting answers.

As I think back I can see myself looking a little like I have witnessed David – I was sitting forward in excitement like I have seen him do – so engrossed in the conversation. And everyone was enthused.

They told me at the beginning that family therapy had been a threat looming over them for a few months and no one was looking forward to it. Maybe that pushed me towards thinking that I did not want this to feel like punishment.

OK I could go on and on – but thanks for having me revisit this fun time. I do love my work! I am not sure how to infuse other ideas like bravery but I want to work on that as I see how infectious states of mind can be.